Ah, The Early Years…

If any of you are as old as I am, you’ll hear me when I say, I miss the early days of the internet. You know, the days when you would race home from school just to see who was on MSN or Yahoo Messenger (but you were only allowed on the internet for a short period of time because someone would always need the phone),  or the nights you’d sit up on a weekend and connect with strangers on ICQ.

Speaking of, I had a scary experience meeting a stranger online when I was in the States. It was well before internet ‘stranger danger’ was a big thing, but I met a guy who was at least 10 years older than my 16 year old self and when I was on a youth road trip down to Pensacola, Florida. I am so thankful that I had some common sense and took some friends with me to meet him, because at first he kept trying to convince me that we should go to his car to talk.

Needless to say, I didn’t follow him to his car and my friends kept an eye out for me and it could have ended pretty badly.

That wasn’t the internet’s fault though, that was the fault of a naïve teenager who thought everyone wanted to be her friend. Turns out, not everyone in the world wishes to be your buddy.

I do miss the early chat rooms though, especially the early role playing games that you could play. I’ve tried getting back into it since then, but it’s not the same (or I’m just too old now and don’t know how to do it properly hahaha!), but I’d love to give it another go one day. If anyone knows of a decent site, that isn’t too complicated for an old maid like me, sing out.

The best RP Chat was The Red Dragon Inn, at least I think that’s what it was called. So long ago. I may have to Google it and see what I can come up with, but I was always THIS  really cool chick though. I believe she was a character from the Dragonlance Series, but I always used her as a Shapeshifter (Silver Wolf) named Ayla Faye (another series influence from my early high school years -the Earth’s Children Series by Jean M Auel)

Anyway, that’s my little piece for today. Thank god it’s the weekend now and I can go out and enjoy some sunshine with an extra large cup of nostalgia to make me wish I was 20 years younger 🙂

LOST

So I’ve been rewatching my all-time favourite series.

I know it seems a little bias after that statement, but seriously, this show changed the landscape of television.

It challenged everything people expected from a prime time drama. It’s characters, it’s plot, and not to mention the introduction of regular flash forwards, flash backwards AND flash sideways.

Stereotypes were thrown out the window and it produced one of the best villains in tv history – Benjamin Linus.

I’ll admit, the first thing that hooked me into watching it was because I saw an advertisement for it with Domanic Monaghan and I was desperate after the end of the LOTR to see some of my favourite actors back in the spotlight.

And then I fell in love with a certain Iraqi soldier  (see endless pictures accompanying this post)

I’ve just started season 5 and I love how interesting this show gets with its twists and turns and deceptive cons.

I’ve relived the heartbreak of my favourite couple breaking apart (see below) & now I’m loving the progression of off-island losties.

#ShayidShipper #Shannon #Sayid #LOST #OceanicSix

LOST in Fandoms

I have many fandoms, but there have only ever been four in my life that have really stuck. True fandoms, with ships and everything . 

The first being Lord of The Rings. I totally shipped Eowyn and Faramir (like before I knew they were a thing) and like, who didn’t crush on Karl Urban as Eomer?  I know I sure as hell did!

And next, LOST. Like one of my most favourite shows ever. I’m a total Shannon/Sayid shipper.

How can you not love a spoiled little rich girl (not so rich after all) falling for a soft hearted killer and wanting a fresh start together. Its got textbook romance written all over it, except it gets complicated when you mention she’s an upperclass white American and he’s a returned Iraqi torturer. (But still hot AF).

It also gave us one of the most well  written and best acted characters of our age: Benjamin Linus.

Creepy. Master manipulator. All round bug eyed bad guy superbly played by Michael Emerson . 

This guy still freaks me out. 

But seriously, back  to Naveen Andrews playing Sayid… I would KILL (okay, maybe not kill exactly, but definitely maime) to have him look at me like this all fucking day.

My next fandom would have to be none other than  Doctor Who and yes, before you get up in  my grill anout it. Ten IS MY FAVOURITE and Donna my favourite companion . 

And no, I haven’t seen ALL of the original Who because it used to scare the shit out of me as a kid but I’m working through them as an adult.

Ten and Donna had such amazing chemistry (not romantically as such, they just worked together really REALLY well) & have been the best ‘team’ I’ve seen – closely followed by Eleven with Amy and Rory.

But Tennant and Tate were brilliant  (for the record, also great in Shakespearean Stage productions together!) and my least favourite Doctor from newwho is probably Eccleston and least favourite companion without a doubt, is Clara.

Donna Noble ❤

My final Fandom? Game of Thrones, of course!

And yes, I’m totally a Sansa Stark fan, so sue me.

This girl can play The Game. I really hope she makes it through to the end of the series  (because after all, this is game of thrones and you win or you die). I’m not sure how it’ll all end, only that I want Sansa left alive (and if at all possible, happy – hahaha *cries in desperation*)

Jon Snow, is another I’d like to see live, and Tyrion and Varys, but I don’t believe in happy endings when it comes to GoT. 

Danaerys and Arya I couldn’t care less about. Cersi should meet her maker (although so brilliantly portrayed by Lena she still needs to go!) and those horrible Sand Snakes with her!
SO, there you have it. My favourite fandoms, a very BIG part of who I am . 

What are some of yours?

I think I’m broken…

It’s not all fun and games when you’re a thirty three year old single as that last tim tam in the packet sort of girl.

I used to think it was because I was unattractive, more so fat, that I was the ‘ugly brown crayon in the box that no one ever used’, but if by being single so long (and I’m talking over a decade) has taught me anything, it’s that loving myself for who I am is the most successful way to win at life.

Being in a relationship seems to be a huge drive for most people I know, and to be honest, I thought being in a steady relationship, maybe married with a couple of kids was my life’s dream. This was until I realized that maybe this wasn’t going to happen for me, maybe that boat had set sail.

I figure, right now I’d settle for casual sex and someone to watch Game of Thrones with, but as a woman, does this make me less in the eyes of society?

I do get upset, surrounded by mothers who only have the topic of children in common. I feel so disconnected from them only because I would have loved to be one of them and annoy the hell out of anyone who’d listen about my little Charlotte being a right shit and painting the puppy with clag glue or my little Harry running starkers through the kindy playground yelling about his willy, but life has not granted me this and instead of being able to accept that, I find myself doubting my self worth (yet again) under the joyus sleep deprived eyes of mothers everywhere. I’m sure they whisper, “is she even a woman?” as I pass them in the street.

As for relationships,  I’m not sure if I would know how to function in one. That classic meme that speaks of not knowing what to do with a partner  (do I just feed it and show it my boobs every day?), yeah, that’d be me.

I’m not sure if I’m ready to step into the casual sex thing either, as much as I’d like to be labeled the town slut at this point in my life, my morals won’t let me show as much as a large amount of cleavage without serious amounts of alcohol, and I HAVE big boobies, cushy soft ones that, although they’ll probably betray me in the next 20 years, I happen to love very much…

So this all being said, if my dream for marriage and kids is facing the long kiss goodnight, do I just keep on doing what I’m doing and put up with the constant well-intended-but-so-fucking-annoying ‘there’s someone for everyone’ spiel every god damn happy in a relationship person has given me or do I tell them all to piss off, eat what I like, wear what I like and throw myself into a Netflix oblivion and become a crazy spinster who loves cake a little too much?

I’m not sure if I’m too broken for society or I’ve  just lost my way,  either way, I’m not going to stop wanting something more than I already have. I’ll find it, whatever ‘it’ is, eventually. 
Love & Light x

And it all went ‘Boom’…

You can’t blame a girl for being slightly in love with Cersei Lannister…

I don’t hide from spoilers, I never have. So please, if you’re scared of a few little whispers (ok, maybe some really loud ones too) then this blog is not for you.

 

Firstly, holy mother of all things green, Cersei Lannister pulled out all the stops and I’m not just talking about wiping out an enemy or two, but nearly EVERY FUCKING RIVAL SHE HAS IN KINGS LANDING!!

I mean, The Sparrow, I expected to die, Lancel Lannister, Maester Pycell and even Loras Tyrell. It was expected that there would be some major deaths too, Margery, bless her, tried to play The Game, and failed. She didn’t make her moves fast enough and by the time she realized it, she knew she was doomed, and although I was disappointed at her death (I thought she was a brilliant character), I knew it was on the horizon.

The death I didn’t expect so soon, was Tommen.

We ALL knew it was going to happen, it is after all, a part of the prophecy,. but I never thought Cersei would have a direct hand in it. The scariest part about it all though is that she didn’t even blink. She barley battered an eyelid when she gazed upon his body and then took up his crown and placed herself on the Iron Throne.

And the look Jamie gave Cersei as she placed herself there! Oh boy! Oh boy! Lena’s acting has been on point all season and if she doesn’t receive some kind of award for it, all the critics are blind. I still think it’s going to be Jamie to kill the Mad Queen Cersei. Or, maybe it’ll be Danny and Tyrion will end up killing Jamie. It’s only going to get more interesting from here (and we have a whole year of waiting! Boo! Hisss!)

Then there’s the North.

I really really dislike Littlefinger. I hate his creepy uncle in love with a dead girlfriend’s daughter crush he has going on with Sansa, who, I may add, has come into her own brilliantly this season.

One theory I haven’t actually heard discussed, and maybe because I’m not a frequent visitor to fan theory sites online, is once Jon is claimed a Targarrian, it means he is able to marry. Has anyone actually considered the possibility that he would marry Sansa? She is, afterall, his cousin, which was a common practice in that age.

I know everyone is super keen on him teaming up with Danny, but can you really picture Jon in Kings Landing? I know I can’t and I really don’t see Danny putting herself in the North either.

I think they’ll be comfortable allies.

Sansa is my favourite character, but I really don’t see her making it to season 8. I have a feeling she will finally fall, if not to Littlefinger, then to her own weakness (her mistrust of anyone other than herself).

Alas, I must leave it there for the evening as my babysitting duties are over (kiddies have been asleep for hours but I re-watched the finale). More thoughts to digest and share tomorrow.

 

Holy Fuck. Its Game Of Thrones night!

Nothing gets me so excited that I can’t sleep anymore, except for maybe Game of Thrones. 

And tonight is the night I finally get to watch the finale (and then wait another WHOLE year for season 7! *bawls*)

It’s been a pretty emotional day.

Today I sent my puppy dog off on a trial basis to his possible new owner. He’s hopefully gonna work out as an actual working sheep dog which would be amazing, because he was born to do it, he has so much energy and loves to please. I couldn’t really give that to him and so I’m really hoping this works out, although I’m sad to see his mischievous face go. 😦

On the good side of emotions today, I found out the mole I had cut out of my breast last week was benign and so I can breathe a sigh of relief. A BIG SIGH of relief.  I think it was playing on my mind more than I thought it would.

Now I can finally relax and enjoy my week AND enjoy tonight’s episode.

Check back later for my thoughts on everything GOT! 🙂

Adulthood, it’s a trap!

I had always assumed that adulthood was one big fun party where the drinks were free and your time was your own…

Boy, was I uneducated.

I think I’ve fallen into the pit of ‘I don’t care about…’ over the past month. Seriously,  my house is a mess, which let’s face it, happens when you’re a single thirty something who enjoys a sleep in over getting up to vacuum on the weekend, and just recently I’ve cared more for a Grey’s Anatomy character  (Christina Yang I’m looking at you) than I have my own dog (sorry Jack, I do love you, honest!).

Whoever says the word responsibility to me next will get a punch in the face.

I’m tired. I’m sick of being told what I should and shouldn’t do -insert a John Locke’s angry “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” here – and quite frankly, I’ve had the crappiest week where judgemental people think their bullshit stinks less than mine.

Well they can shove it.

I’ve had just about enough of being an adult today and it’s only 8:30am. I’m going to spend the rest of the day at a five year olds birthday party patting cute little animals and feeding hungry birds  (it’s a hobby farm party, don’t worry, not feeding the kiddies to raptors!).

I am then going to do what adults were promised they could do when they signed the ‘I’m over 18’ contract. I’m going to a bonfire, going to drink a rediculous amount of alcohol and then I’m going to regret it all tomorrow morning.

 

Adulthood, it really is a trap.

 

Eloquently Put

Life. Can it get any more complicated?

Right now I’d kill to be a five year old again where the most important things in my life would be horses, faries and sugar.

All I can think of right now is how to make my wage stretch that little bit farther and how much wine I’m going to drink this weekend.